✨Sunday Intention Setting✨

I just want to reflect @AuntGlow 

1. So it was my intention to start a routine of going to the gym of a morning. 

I went to the gym on Monday and Wednesday morning, but didn't make it on Friday morning. I have been struggling with exhaustion and by Thursday...I was sore and exhausted. I noticed that going to the gym of a morning helped my mornings feel more positive and lifted my mood. But I admit to taking on too much and pushing myself a little too hard last week. 

2. Make an appointment with my EAP counsellor.

I have an appointment on Monday, with a new EAP counsellor. I'm nervous, but also...she sounds like a good fit because she was a teacher who stepped out of the industry, which is the cross roads that I'm at.

3. Sit for half an hour at the end of each day and have a cuppa.

I'm enjoying this. It's nice to sit and give myself a little bit of processing and breathing time.

4. Drink more water

This is a struggle, but I try. 

5. Read for 30 minutes each night before bed.

I've also been enjoying this. The only night I didn't read before bed was Friday night. I wasn't feeling well, and chose to go to sleep straight away instead. I think this is helping my body relax before sleep. 

Thank you for your reflection, lovely. @NightFury 

These small promises seem to have really resonated with you - you've done so well! 🤩

What I can see overall is that each intention really focused on supporting your wellbeing, and even though some tiredness came up and you had to reset, you did something for you by honouring where you were at.

I wonder if these promises can continue into the next week? Or would you like to explore something new? What is your intuition asking for? 💛

Hello lovely people! ✨

@DownMoreThanUp You said "My good intention today is to let my depressive mood bring me good life holding on to what is good instead of letting bad times steal such from me." I am curious to know how the intention of sitting with what feels good is going? 

@Kashmina how has studying been for you this week? And have you had any interactions that have made you smile?

@Dimity Have you been to your craft group again? Also, how has your daily reading intention being going?

@ENKELI How has your exercise routine been feeling? I hope your friend explores the 'one small promise' idea. It really is so helpful.

@Glisten YES! The doing is exactly what helps to shift our state of being. What things have you been doing for yourself this week?

@Chasingsunsets How is your mind map coming along?

@Cuddlebear I am curious to know how you are adjusting to your medication changes now? Here for you, always.

@Appleblossom How has simply showing up felt for you? 

@PeppyPatti I love your reflections about how helpful your automatic inclination towards putting on a guided meditation was, especially when you needed support. 

Thank you all for sharing. 💛

Hi @AuntGlow 

There's one I'd like to change up a little...

Continue the routine of going to the gym of a morning.

Sit for half an hour each day with a coffee after work and just take a moment to breathe.

Drink more water. 

Read each night before bed.

Do my home work set by my counsellor - my journalling task to write about my best work day, take a few days to meet my own needs, make a list of the skills that I have which are transferrable. 

These are wonderful intentions!! @NightFury 

I might follow a few of these myself. 👀

Please keep me updated with your progress. 🫶

@AuntGlow 

I think there has been a change in my showing up. I always tried to do right, but recently I have been showing up with more of me, and expressing my emotions and needs more, than only meeting other people’s needs. That said, I am in leadership tomorrow and Sunday. I have an extra session with my psychiatrist Friday, cos I need it. It’s the first time I ever was offered an extra session as the secretary could tell how distressed I was. Mostly I was afraid of CATT team escalation, so always down regulating myself. 

Showing up is still enough for my intention, but I was so distracted and distressed talking with psychiatrists secretary this afternoon that I actually forgot to go to my physio appointment for a few hours. I guess I will call them tomorrow. 

@AuntGlow no craft group but I've also joined an exercise class. 

I lost sight of my reading intention. Hopefully I'll return to it. Things have been difficult. I really do need to stop spiralling and unwind at night.

Ahh @Glisten you have met the tantrums of the UN aware ? 

lol….. 

iv missed you but been driving thru forest 🌳 

@ENKELI you two.

Oh. @ENKELI i personally was having a giggle over her behaviour. Tantrum included. 
I’m in Launceston and went on a chair ride over something like bush and water. I thought, when in the chair swinging from a to b that if I moved my face which is connected to my skull, ide fall off. 
@AuntGlow @Dimity @Appleblossom @NightFury @Glisten 

Dearest @Cuddlebear 

@has any professional bothered to ask your state of being whilst getting meds cut ?

im sitting with you my darling friend. 
@AuntGlow @Dimity @Appleblossom @NightFury @TAB 

Hello @AuntGlow I have withdrawn from my studies and feel very good about this. Not as much with others in regards to smiling but with myself 😊

@AuntGlow Hi dear. It has been a real mission the last few days, on Tuesday i was so down that i felt psychically sick from it. Yesterday i started pretty down, but by late evening i was doing much better. Then i slept for 6 hours in my first sleep last night. Which is basically unheard of.

So yes i'm rapt how productive holding onto good life got me through this dip.

@Kashmina @PeppyPatti @Dimity @Appleblossom 

How are you all doing friends?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mTByYSqb_M&list=RDT19_-ycPYjk&index=6

Morning @DownMoreThanUp thank you for the video. I listened to it while having my coffee 😊

Really sorry to hear how awful you felt 🤗 I have not felt like that for a while now but know how difficult it is to manage and it seems you did really well 💖

Just taking the morning slow today. Volunteered last night and it has left me a bit wiped.

What plans do you have for your day?

@PeppyPatti @Dimity @Appleblossom 

Hello @DownMoreThanUp @Kashmina 

Yes I love Scarborough Fair.

My plans for the day... to get moving and face the day for a start. It's sunny and looks nice outside. 

Any updates on your ducklings and goslings @DownMoreThanUp ?

@AuntGlow  Hello lovely how are you? How is your day going? 

The tapering is brutal I’m doing worse and am terribly overwhelmed. Just here suffering alone. I wish so much it was better. 

Hello @Cuddlebear it's such a long endurance test for you. Sending you a cheerio. 

Hello @Cuddlebear sorry to hear you are still feeling so awful!

Do they give any indications on when these terrible symptoms may ease?

🤗 to you

@Kashmina Good to hear you have not felt that bad for a long time either. So it has been for me. The best part was it only lasted 2 days or so, instead of day in day out, as it so often used to be.

i planned to clean my junk room for many years, we used it or storage, also for our livestock, but never got to it, because of the terrible nausea flaring any intensive work i did.  However ever since i have been using the T.M.G my nausea has been going down. So now even when i get up at first i usually have no nausea but can already eat and drink what i want to, as well as do activities when i'm not too drained to do that.

So my wife and me got stuck into it today. The room is nice and tidy now. So very pleased we finally got that done!

@Dimity We still have 9 goslings, and still 7 older, but only 2 younger, ducklings left. After a very intense week with birds of prey hunting the young ones. We were rather sad watching them disappear but also saw how the one mother duck who still let her young swim around the middle of the dam, finally began behaving as she should, hugging the shadows. The mother duck who lost all her young has disappeared, so we think she might have made another nest yet, like our female Goose did as well. Not sure if anything will come from that being so late in the year.

Glad some of the little ones are doing well @DownMoreThanUp and that the neglectful mother duck is mending her ways. The losses are sad. I guess the birds of prey are magnificent in their own way. Mary Oliver's poetry on natural wonders helps me come to terms with it.

Well done on your good days and tackling the junk room. I've had a run of not so good days and am now trying to catch up a little. 

I am well @Cuddlebear 🫶

I can't even begin to imagine how challenging it would be to manage these changes on your own... I wish we could all wrap you up in a giant hug. Know that we are doing so from afar. 🥰

In the meantime, is there anything our community can do to support you right now? And have you thought about starting a thread that's dedicated to helping you throughout these changes/your recovery? Just a thought, but no pressure. 💛

@Kashmina  Hello how are you? Have you had a good day? 

When you reduce medication it takes quite a while. I was on a high dose so the reduction are done in smaller increments. Each drop compounds and is worse. I’ll be doing this until early next year. How on earth I’m going to survive it I don’t know. I’m doing my best. I can’t start the new medication until this I’m off this one. Then the new medication will take 4-6 weeks or so to really work. 

@AuntGlow  How are you? Thank you so much for understanding. I think I will do a thread to specifically seek support for this. That was a really good idea. 

Of course! We are always here for you. 🥹💛 

Please tag me when you start it. @Cuddlebear 

@Dimity Yes it was very satisfying to clean that room, but it knocked me for six. i ended up flat on my back in bed, without any energy,  but still could not sleep, so used a nicotine patch instead to get me back on my feet.

Feeling okay now, and about to cook us some dinner. Nicely fried Pork fillets, gently spiced, with fresh green beans. We both love fresh beans.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0W_ybghFzg&list=RDIXdNnw99-Ic&index=13

@Kashmina what kind of volunteering do you do?

@Dimity sending you warmth and strength. My feelings are shifting a lot at the moment from doubt to more confidence and gone again. Maybe I need to remember and trust that I come through , so it will be alright.

 Botanicals

@AuntGlow I am exhausted but did both choirs today, both on keyboard. My son cooked and we watched a good show together. Great end to the day.

@DownMoreThanUp good to get a job done on that room and doing it with your wife. I love Scarborough Fair too. 

@PeppyPatti I think I went on that sky walk in Tassie with my son… maybe 20 years ago. Loved it.

hugs @Cuddlebear 

Morning @Cuddlebear I had a busy afternoon and volunteered last night so I am tired this fine, but fine thank you.

That is such a long time to come off meds. You are doing it really tough. I am coming off some too but its not anywhere near what you are experiencing.

You will get there, you are doing it now. And I know its easier said than done but reach out on the forum anytime. There are always people around to have a chat.

Thinking about you and I hope your day goes well 💛 

Hi @Appleblossom I volunteer in a theatre. Work in ticketbox, ushering and in the bar!

Sounds like a good vibe job @Kashmina is it community theatre, as the reason they can’t afford to pay you? 

volunteering at the zoo could be fun when I did it for 5 years 

done lots paid and unpaid work 

it’s a balance keeping “engaged “.

🙏💙🙏💙🙏💙🎶🎶🍎

No @Appleblossom it is another organisation

I too have done varying paid and volunteer work. Sometimes I dont feel like engaging or going to shift but I always enjoy it in the end 😊

@Kashmina   Hello my friend. How are you? 

I really love the volunteering work you do. 🙂 How often do you do it? Is it once a week? 

Yes it’s a long coming off these meds. I didn’t realise you too were tapering. How are you feeling? 

Im much the same at the moment which is unfortunate. 😞 

Hi @Cuddlebear 

I know we haven’t talked. I’ve been reading about your tapering journey on here 

I had to recently taper from a medication. It was a hard one to get off and took me 4 months. Each reduction made me really depressed and borderline crisis. 

For me I counted down the weeks until it was finished. I also had a couple of weeks in there that I didn’t taper for a fortnight to give myself a break. 

Just wanted you to know that I understand how hard it can be. 

@Captain24  Hello it is so wonderful to meet you. How are you doing? 

Thank you so much for sharing how it’s been for you. So many people don’t understand the brutality of a taper. Like you every drop in medicine makes everything worse and I hate waking up each day knowing it’s another battle to make it through. 

My GP says to just get it over and done with but my body can’t cope going fast. I’m just hanging in by a thread so to speak. He wanted me to drop further this week after having dropped more medicine last week. I said no. I told them I could not tolerate anymore and that I’m doing this alone and have to live with how I’m actually feeling. I want my body to adjust and have less intense symptoms before another drop but GP is in a hurry. 

Thank you for understanding. It means a lot to me that you posted to let me know. 

It’s your body and your mental health that has to deal with all of this. @Cuddlebear.

I was lucky, I had my psych and she was the one who suggested having a break and slowing it down. It took me longer to get off them but I got to have a rest at times. I didn’t do it every time but sometimes I just needed the break and left it for a week. In the end I counted down that I only had 4 more left or 3 more left. It was still a struggle and seemed to get harder but counting it down made it go quicker know that there was only a few to go. Not sure how far along in the journey you are. 

The GP is not the one who is suffering. I get the sooner you get off it the sooner you will feel better and stop going through this but it is so hard. 

I think, do what is best for you. You are the one living it. 

@Kashmina hey

 @Cuddlebear I agree with @Captain24 perhaps your Gp is a little hasty, and should try it him or herself. It’s not fully in his area anyway. Do you have an actual psychiatrist who can oversee the tapering?

I have observed many people at close quarters on and off meds. For decades . For me, 10 years ago I was on the highest dose and very slowly tapered down. I mean each step was at least a couple months. They were small steps. I researched it and told my psychiatrist and he agreed with me and let me take the initiative at my speed.

@AuntGlow I understand medical training and liability and duty of care but we need to be able to discuss these matters in some form. Yes, I realise medicos often outrank lived experience, yet I am not sure they are always right. 

I was going to post a further intention when I read this discussion.

 I am allowing myself to relax into my feelings more when I perform music publicly, and did so today. It is huge as there are so many aspects to concentration, discipline, performance nerves, expression etcetc. Funny thing, meds impact feelings. Hmmm. I am very careful modeling appropriate and responsible medication use, cos I have seen so much.

Anyway, I thought this thread was a good place to share. It’s about me not being so controlled in playing with the intellect in total charge, but more an interaction up and down my chakras… if anyone can relate to that?? It feels like a next step for me. 

haha I probably dissociated far too much from feelings as a young person into my intellect. Though I always had plenty of feelings it was not possible to express them with others. 

Healing trauma insights seems to suggest this is the way to go.

Hello lovely @Cuddlebear 😊

ATM I volunteer about 4 x week. Sometimes it is very tiring with events and other shifts are quite cruisy.

I have only been coming off my meds for a few weeks now but it comes in waves for me. The tiredness and general feeling unwell is what is hard. I have read some of your posts about you tapering and honestly my heart goes out to you 🤗 I dont feel the best but I know I am not doing it as hard as you. I will be doing this for a couple of months yet to make sure my brain and body are coping with the transition. I will be staying on the dose I am now and then come off, I think! Will be seeing my doc in a few weeks.

If you ever need to chat I am here 💖

Thanks for the tag @Appleblossom I have to agree with you.

@Captain24 @Cuddlebear @AuntGlow

It was me who did the research on my meds and how they can be reduced. Again for me personally I was put on these meds (I know I can not say which ones or why etc) when I first became sick about 5 years ago for a particular reason, I had other symptoms aswell. I do not suffer from this condition anymore and the meds are not helping with any of the other symptoms that can challenge my life greatly at times (except giving me side effects which are unpleasant). I have asked to come off and if need be go on something else but to wait and see how things go. The tapering is guided, absolutely by my doctor but also myself, if need be I can slow it down. Regular visits throughout with my doc to check I am going ok. Everyone is different and everyone is going to respond differently coming off medication.

Sorry I am not sure of what the guidelines are in talking about this.

Just to reiterate, a medical practitioner definitely directs us but I do feel as the person who is experiencing the withdrawal symptoms we should be able to monitor how it is affecting us and be guided by this on how long this should take in a responsible way.

@Appleblossom @Kashmina @Captain24 

Hello to you all. 

The best science at the moment says to do slow taper in small amounts and be guided by how the patient is feeling. I doubt he could live with how I’m feeling right now. I doubt he understand he is a GP and I’m not saying he knows nothing. All I’m saying is my body and mind isnt coping with the fast taper he wants. All the new science says slow and hyperbolic. My body is saying slow and wait till brain and body have adjusted from the severity before dropping more. 

I don’t have a psychiatrist. I can’t afford one. I saw one at APARC for a medicine review and that was it. So I just have the GP. 

I am really glad your psychiatrist was happy to take it slowly and listen to how you felt plus the research you did. 

I am so happy with how your music and public performances are going. Relaxing into your feelings more really brings the best vibe inside as you produce those beautiful sounds through the instrument you are playing. Music is a something that can really help with trauma. I’m just so happy that you are able to relax into your feelings in public spaces. 

Hi @Cuddlebear everything you have said re tapering makes sense. It is hard to understand why your doctor is suggesting this?!

I feel the more I get into the reduction the more I dont feel great but I know I will come out the other side at some stage.

Today not feeling great so I am changing what I do when I really feel not good. Have done some house stuff and drinking lots of tea, crocheting and watching some nice channels on Youtube.

Lots of hugs to you 🤗

@Kashmina   Hello friend. How has your day gone? 

Yes for some people the withdrawals become worse as you get to the lower doses. You will definitely get through this and you are not at all alone.

Im so pleased you have an alternative plan that works for you when you are not feeling great? What are some of the nice YouTube channel's?  I can’t crochet but I do like it a lot. What are you making? 

I think GP just wants to get it over and done with. They don’t understand the severity despite me explaining. 

Im here for you if you need to chat. Lots of love and hugs too. 

Morning @Cuddlebear I hope your night resembled some comfort 😊

My day was definitely up and down and I was back in bed early - very tired.

I have a few channels I watch and new ones that present themselves all the time that I have an interest in!

Ones that are relaxing for me and I enjoy their content especially in times like this.

Unexpected gypsy - a woman in the UK in her late 40s who is an artist - she is whimsical and whacky

Girls and their cats - I have just come across this one and I was watching a lot of it yesterday - so many beautiful cats and their lives with their owners

Little Boho Cottage - a woman who lives in a cottage in the state of New York I think - she is great with photography and making her vlogs  are whimsical too

I also watch various van life adventures as I would love to be able to do this. Since becoming unwell I have not been able to work so money is tight and I am not self-sufficient in this way.

I am still working on coasters but yesterday I tried a cat one - if I can get the picture to go where it should I will post it later. I have really enjoyed learning to crochet and I am hoping to continue and venture to more complex projects.

What do you do hobby wise or interests you may have that you can try and take your mind of your withdrawals? That is what I am trying to do - sometimes it works - sometimes not.

I do really feel for you in terms of how your meds are being tapered and how it is affecting you.

Here's to another day and I hope it is even a little better for both of us 😊

@Kashmina   Hello my friend. How are you going today? Did you get some sleep?

The YouTube content sounds really good. I’m really glad it is helping you get through the day and it’s entertaining. 

Id love to see your coasters when you are ready. 🙂 Cats are awesome! 

I’m really sorry you are feeling withdrawals too. I wish I could just take it all away and you’d be well. I am here though and others in our community are also here to support and encourage. 

At the moment I am finding it impossible to do any of the things that I usually enjoy. Stuff like gardening, growing veggies, cooking for people and socialising. I also love reading and just basic craft stuff. Unfortunately I’m not able to do those things right now. My body has shut down. 

Yes here’s to another day one thwt is better for us. 

Hi lovely @Cuddlebear lets just say today I am having different challenges! I did have a big cry this morning but I think that was based on I had to do something that was quite stressful and my brain did not cope well. I found myself, I think reacting to the pressure I felt and I wasnt feeling well.

Have been sleeping for a bit and having a hot drink and relaxing.

That is awful that you can not do anything. I know when one doesnt feel great it is hard to do anything at all. I at least can do some things slowly, even if I dont really enjoy them but I am able to manage it.

Can I ask (you dont have to answer anything if you dont want to 😊) how old you are, do you live on your own, do you have any support from family, friends etc? 

I am 57 and my son still lives with me, he is 32 and is pretty understanding of what I am going through. I have suffered from high levels of anxiety and depression for most of my life and have been functional for most of it with significant hiccups along the way but I have always been able to get back up. This time the effects of myself getting sick a few years back has not been the same. I am still in recovery 3 years later and symptoms have kept me not being able to work and I can not engage in life in the same way. I just cant push myself anymore!

I hope you do have some support and guidance. Life is complex and different for many of us. I no longer have what I would call true friends I can rely on in life - I guess that is why I am on the forum 🙂

How has your day been so far?

@Cuddlebear @Kashmina hearing you both re: not feeling well, and wanting to extend some friendly hugs.

I am so glad and proud that you voiced to your GP that you are not coping with the pace and need to slow down a bit @Cuddlebear . It is not always easy to speak up when feeling pressured, so I am so proud to hear you have. 

I agree with @Appleblossom that it is important to be able to discuss the need to be able to give honest feedback to the doctors around the effects of medication (be it from new, existing or dosage tapering). If people do not tell the doctor how bad it is, the doctors will not realise. Sometimes it can be scary to tell them exactly how bad and hope not-coping someone is. Fear they will dismiss or not believe . Feelings to cope with if they do not listen and feel unheard.

Earlier in the year I was experiencing very severe anxiety/panic attacks due to an adverse reaction to a brain stimulation treatment. My mother and I knew that it was highly abnormal for me (never had anxiety before despite trauma & depression for decades) and would pass once the treatment wore off. As an experienced psychologist she knew a medication would help me cope with the anxiety feelings and we had already been doing all the thing she would advise her patients. So she came with me to the GP. Ive seen this GP for more than 5 years. He did not want to prescribe me a single (no repeat) script (and i have no history of addiction or medication misuse), it was only because my mother was a trained psychologist and was able to advocate for me and what we had been doing and my symptoms and that it was very severe and not usual for me that he did agree to prescribe it for me.

And guess what? It helped! But because of his hesitance to prescribe i was then very hesitent to use it even at half the prescribed frequency 😅. It helped when i did use it, and I did find a middle ground where i could use less than prescribed but enough to be able to control the anxiety. (It was a "take as needed up to xxx per day", so it was OK to take less than prescribed!)

But i think, if i didnt have my mother as a trained professional advocating for me in realtime in the same room...? 

And i believe my doctor had good intention. But sometimes they dont know exactly how bad things are if people "present well" relatively speaking. I know i have received a lack of adequate response a number of times due to this (ive been told by others i should find a diff GP for MH who has an interest in it), but i also recognise its not my GPs intention and when I do push back he does respecr it usually. But im not always in a position to feel able to push back.

Positive for me today --- I took a whole day of sick leave. Normally I try to push myself to do as kuch work as i can still, even though it sets back my recovery from the illness. But today I chose to evaluate it based on "if i work, will my cold/flu get worse for it?" And the answer was yes (due to excessive fatgiue weakening me), and so i took the day off on sick leave. And tomorrow i will ask myself the same question and assess myself again against that standard. 🥰 trying to do what is best for my health this time.

Thank you @AlwaysMyself for your story and hugs!

It is difficult navigating the medical system and doctors. Using their educated knowledge but also our lived experience is also very important

It is great to see you looking after yourself more and taking the day off. It is one thing I am still learning as before I used to push myself and well ...... it eventually catches up with you.

Hope you are doing ok @Cuddlebear thinking of you 😊

@AlwaysMyself   Hello lovely. How is your cold today? I’m so glad you are putting your health first. Cold and flu need rest and it’s the best way for them to go away. I’m really proud of you for putting yourself first. 🙂 

It wasn’t easy voicing my concern and he asked me again yesterday if I wanted to drop another dose down and I said no. It was obvious I was in no condition to drop more and it felt disappointing he even made the suggestion. 

I can totally understand what you are saying having your mum who is a psychologist having to advocate. It shouldn’t have to be that way. I’m glad you were able to access what you needed it’s just awful that the GP was reluctant when you asked. 

@Kashmina  Hello lovely how are you? I’m sorry you felt really stressed yesterday. Whatever it was causing it I hope it is all resolved. 

How are you today? I’m so glad you have your son with you and that he’s supportive. 

I am in my 50’s and am alone. I have no real support and 1 friend who drops in every now and again. I’m pretty much on my own. I’m lonely and my mental health prevents me from working. I was working up till May this year. I have multiple disabilities and a chronic illness so it’s not possible to work anymore. I feel sad with the situation. 

Hello @Cuddlebear I am doing better today. I dont feel sick and completely out of it!

The stress I was feeling is an ongoing stressor but it is a part of life and I have to learn to not let it take over. Difficult when you dont feel great. But yes I got through it and life continues.

I am really sorry you are on your own. I get the friend thing though. I have my son yes but you work out who your real friends are when you become unwell.

I can relate too, to the fact that my life has changed in a way that I dont believe I will ever function in the same way. There are limitations now.

Do you have a local community centre of sorts? I am trying to (once I am feeling better from this transition) to get out into my community. Taking a class that you have an interest in? I have volunteered in a community centre before and they had such a variety of classes to attend to. It was really welcoming and it broke that social isolation.

How are you feeling today?

@Kashmina @Cuddlebear support button not working, so please consider your posts support-buttoned! Totally agree re: pushing self, finding out who are true friends when sick, and the battle between supporting MH vs working (current topic for me in upcoming months).

@Cuddlebear I've been silent on my personal-topic thread because I've wanted to wit until I have a proper time to post there (both feeling well enough to think and type, and now when im in a more suitable place to be able to write it than on a public bus if i get teary lol). I have a lot of thoughts swirling about work currently.

@Kashmina community centre sounds a great idea. 😊 i wish i had a good one local. I have a few different organisations that do some community things, but no real centre to my knowledge. And there are quite few things that are free (many were replaced by paid services when NDIS was introduced). There are 2 thibgs I know of I could try out for free if only I was available at the times and had the energy. One of them is "free" to attend but its at a pub/diner, so prob expexted to at least buy a drink - but I guess $5 is OK if you enjoy it for a few hours.

@Kashmina  Hello lovely. How are you today? I’m so glad you felt better yesterday and I really hope that today is even better for you. What are you upto? 

Life stressors are difficult at the best of times and even harder when our mental health isn’t good. As it is something in going are there any things that help at all to bring you some relief? 

It’s hard being alone and while I’m glad you’ve got your son I totally hear you in relation to having friends too. I definitely learned who my real friends were when I became unwell. It hurt a lot to learn that the friendships were all one way 😞 Just really amplifies the feelings of worthlessness.   

There is a local community centre. I have had a look but there’s challenges. Firstly, I’m deaf/blind (I have a seeing guide dog) and a part foot amputation. This makes a lot of the activities they have impossible for me to do accessibility wise. The cost for activities is also prohibitive. I feel so frustrated about this. I’m struggling financially. Food, rent and utilities take all my pension. There’s really nothing left over. 

I’m sorry it’s taken me a while to respond. I’m really feeling awful mentally and physically. Struggling to reply here at times. 

Support button wont work!

Firstly @Cuddlebear no need to apologise about later response. I know that you are struggling a great deal and even typing some words would be difficult.

You do have a lot going on 🤗 many hugs to you.

Yes trying to even find some activities to do that would support you would be difficult. Gosh in all honesty I am struggling to respond well with words of understanding. Except to say I really feel for your situation. I hope that is not condescending or inappropriate to say, so I apologise in advance. The challenges you face daily must weigh you down.

And to top it all off, the burden of normal living to survive. I do understand this myself in the way that I was working full-time, I have been a solo woman for most of it so I have never really had that financial or emotional support - it has been limited. When I became sick the last time and could not work my life changed dramatically. I am able to live but minimally.

In terms of the ongoing stress, it is to do with the rented home I am in. Its ok but I am a part of a coop and it has its challenges. I do have to learn to not let things get to me but they just do.

Volunteered for a few hours but I did not sleep well last night so my shift was challenging. I just feel flat again and out of sorts.

Really sorry to hear you are still not feeling great.

@Kashmina I hope you get a good sleep tonight.

I know I feel much worse when I don't sleep well and/or are fatigued/exhausted. My mood just plummets and all my dark thoughts rush too.  I hope you feel better tomorrow after a solid and refreshing sleep.

@Cuddlebear I didn't know you were missing part of a foot (more likely I have forgotten). That makes the way the support person treated you on the walk the other month even worse! 😮 

Thank you for your words @AlwaysMyself.

Yes not sleeping well completely sets off the darkness again. Thank you for reminding me of that. Today I felt like I couldnt cope with anything and that all the things I had to engage with I could not handle - remember just a moment.

Do you work full-time? What is your current situation with addressing your MH issues with them, if I have understood that correctly? You dont have to answer if you dont want to.

@Cuddlebear I was going to ask do you receive any funding from the government for some support services but @AlwaysMyself just mentioned something? I was thinking maybe someone for companionship would be nice

@Kashmina I work part-time; I can't do fulltime work or I get too exhausted and depressed.  I think I need to take some extended time off work in order to recovery from long-term burnout and worsening MH over the past 2 years. It's been a long time (over 10 years) since my MH was this bad, and it has not been improving even though I have been "doing all the right things" including starting to see a counsellor regularly again. My biggest "problem" with my MH (I think) is that I do not find enjoyment/pleasure in anything (even though I do things regularly still) and have no memory of what 'happiness' or 'joy' is because I have been depressed since before I was a teenager. Living is a chore I do for others' sake - and that needs to change; I need something more.

Morning @AlwaysMyself

Thank you for sharing 😊

This is exactly me, so I completely understand! The burnout I experienced about 4 years ago has left me depleted in a way I can not even describe (except you have done it well). Every time I try to engage with the work area again it wears me out (and unfortunately most places are very challenging to work in now) and the burnout continues. I too am able to engage in life but that does not seem to shift how fatigued I am, how anxious I am and how any form of stress will cripple me. For some reason I can not move past this at this stage. I recently went back to my psych who has mentioned and always has - this type of burnout is not something you mess with and needs to be taken seriously so I must listen to what my body and brain are telling me. I have but its hard to navigate when you also have many other pressures in life.

In regards to feeling the disconnection with enjoyment/pleasure etc - she did discuss this and the long term effects of depression (I cant remember the name)

Had a very stressful day yesterday which brought on a lot of anxiety so I am going to try to take it easy today. I hope you have a good day too

@Kashmina Would be interested to know any ideas/tips of what has helped for you (even if only sometimes) with your long-term burnout and depression.  I suspect my neural network has gone dormant in certain areas of my brain re: pleasure/enjoyment/positive-feeling; no evidence as have not done an fMRI, but it makes sense in terms of how neural networks that aren't used degrade over time. Or perhaps even did not form fully as a child??

I hope today has gotten better for you this afternoon than it was in the morning.

@Kashmina  Hello my friend. How are you? Are you feeling any better lovely? 

I have 9 hours a week of support worker from government. It’s not much. 😞 I have them 3 hours each shift. They are really nice but not the same as having a caring friend or family. 

Im sadly still feeling terrible. Just getting through hour by hour. It’s hard holding on like this day after day. 

@AlwaysMyself  Hello beautiful friend. How are you? 

Yes I have a part foot amputation. 😞 It was awful the way he treated me wasn’t it. People can be so mean and he was from the CATT team doing a check in. I don’t see them anymore after that I felt too uncomfortable 😞 

Hello @AlwaysMyself sorry about the late reply.

That is a tricky question re ideas/tips with burnout. In the beginning I could do almost nothing. Once it set in, I would get up in the morning and shower with the intention to do some things (I was studying p/t atm), I would venture to the lounge to open my laptop and it was there I stayed starring into the 'ether' for the rest of the day. This is when many other very challenging symptoms kicked in. I did a couple of things there. I went back to basics. I could not cook myself anything, I had no energy or interest in it. I was lucky that my son was in the house and he cooked my dinner for me every night (I was eating at least on nutritious meal a day) for six months. I was incredibly lucky. I also knew subconsciously (it was not conscious) to go for a walk, even around the block every morning and every evening. Of course there were days when I may not have done this but for about 5 days a week I did. It may sound strange for someone who is in such a state to be able to even achieve this but I have known about MH issues for most of my life and although I did not really understand what was going on with me I knew about the basic things that could help someone with symptoms such as what I was experiencing. Dont get me wrong, this was not a straight forward process. Some days I made it to end of the driveway and I had to come back. Sometimes I could walk that bit more. It took about 2 months for my diarrheah to stop everyday  and about 6 months before I felt a slight shift in the array of symptoms I had. Things were such a blur through those times, I can just remember how I feel and it was not good.

And the journey of this has been continuing since. Every stage seems to be different and what has worked before doesnt seem to be working now.

My psych has stressed the importance of getting back to basics again even though she knows the lack of pleasure I feel with much of what I do. A big one for her is what I eat and getting exercise, even if it is in short bursts.

Completely understand about certain areas of your brain degrading with lack of use. I feel that too with the anxiety I produce. It feels like my brain has been so programmed to respond to situations with a fight or flight response, it doesnt know how anymore to respond to how the actual situation is.

I will think about other things I have tried to shift how I am still feeling but like you, I have tried various strategies that I know should give me some relief, and yes at times it does but not enough for me to really progress.

Hope you are having a nice Sunday

Hello lovelies - just checking in. 🫶

@Appleblossom - showing up for yourself is absolutely enough. How was your session with your psychiatrist? And always looking forward to your music updates! 

@Dimity - I know things have been overwhelming this week, so I am curious to know if you were able to slow down at all over the weekend?

@Kashmina oh wow! I am so glad you decided to do what is right for you. What prompted the decision to leave study? SO cool that you volunteer at a theatre. What do you enjoy about it?

@DownMoreThanUp I know this has been a big week for you too - how are things at home? 

@Cuddlebear I can see you have lots of beautiful support here. It sounds like these medication changes have been so, so tough... I am glad you are letting your GP know when things aren't sitting right. Do you feel they are open to collaboration with you? 

Also, I can see a few folks here are connecting over medication changes and decisions - know that it is absolutely okay to draw upon your own lived experience. Of course, we make moderation decisions to avoid explicit/directive advice, as we always want to ensure that comes from a medical professional. However, sharing your lived experience to support others is invaluable, and encouraging your forum friends' sense of self-agency/empowerment is such an important part of peer support. So, thank you for being here for one another. 🫶 @Appleblossom @Kashmina @AlwaysMyself @Captain24 @Cuddlebear 

Hello wonderful people! 

Happy Sunday to you all. ✨

It was really lovely seeing you all explore 'one small promise' a day - thank you for always trusting the process. I think a big part of mental health recovery is exploring new ideas/strategies and understanding what works, what doesn't, and why; knowing that this will change and evolve as we do. 

So with that, I encourage you to spend the next couple of weeks exploring the intention to notice. 

Yep - that's it! 

Notice what feels good in your body, what resonates with your mind, what triggers discomfort - and equally - what triggers joy. 

The key here is to do this with the conscious intention of holding compassion for yourself and trying your best to allow judgement to take a backseat.

I know this can be tough, but we are mere explorers of our own minds, so anything is allowed to pop up - there is not right or wrong! 

For example, I have noticed this week that I still have a younger part of myself that reacts very quickly to not feeling chosen or seen. On the other hand, I have noticed that intimate and alive conversations with friends brings me so much joy and connection.

So I am wondering, what comes up for you?

PS: If this doesn't resonate with you and you would like us to hold space for a general intention this week, that is absolutely welcome too. 🫶

@NightFury @Till23 @Captain24 @Dimity @Cuddlebear @Kashmina @AlwaysMyself @Appleblossom @Chasingsunsets @Snowie @peaceandsafety @Oaktree @Bow @ENKELI @DownMoreThanUp @creative_writer @GezzaP @Sunnyside @PeppyPatti @BlueBay @Shaz51 @MissGremlin @avant-garde @Jynx @tyme @TeaPositive @SmilingGecko @heartathome @lonemushroom @Glisten @Bunniekins 

I don’t know if this counts. @AuntGlow.

I went to a work Christmas party today. I went on my own. I sat on my own to eat. But I didn’t notice anyone noticing that I was eating on my own. I wandered around for a little bit and had a chat with a few people and then left. 

I actually noticed that I could do it on my own. It did take a lot and I’m really feeling the overwhelming now but I did do it. 

It absolutely does!! Thank you so much for sharing. And how wonderful to notice that people weren't focused on you eating on your own and that you had the capacity to show up in your independance. That's huge and you should be so proud. 🫶 @Captain24 

hi @AuntGlow 

i feel that i am a child still especially when in a negative mood or i am emotional, overwhelmed, depressed etc. 

i think that is because i crave and want love, support, attention from certain loved ones

i feel that i am back at an early age (not sure this makes sense)

i feel ok and happy when my 8 yr old granddaughter (little A) is with me as i can be like a child with her. she gives me unconditional non judgemental hugs and love.

@AuntGlow I haven’t engaged in this space for a while or anywhere near as much as I’d ideally love to, but I believe the last time I did the intention of the week was about connecting with the inner child (?). and well it’s been quite a journey ☺️

I recently heard some major news about something to do with an old childhood obsession of mine kinda coming back, and I didn’t realise how much JOY it could bring me. having those memories of something I was so passionate about and why I was so passionate about it as a kid just come straight back to the forefront has helped me remember some of the hobbies and special interests I used to dedicate my time to before my mental health took over. that has been super helpful for me in my recovery 😍 for the first time in a decade I’m considering working towards being a dancer again which is something I gave up on when I was younger even though I was moments away from having the opportunity to tour the US and perform with my theatre there as I got bullied a lot for being into dancing (kids will really find anything to pick on other kids for won’t they?). even if I’m not ever physically well enough to do it on an academic level again, just being able to work towards making regular enough time to use dance as my main form of exercise would be enough for me. I forgot how it makes me so happy. 

there has been some more difficult parts to it, like realisations about certain triggers that make me upset and why I react to stress the way that I do due to experiences in my childhood. and why for so long I have abstained from things that made me happy in the first place. it’s not an easy thing to face but I try my best not to be too hard on myself about these things. 

so the theme of just noticing for this week is spot on for me right now! not just in terms of healing my inner child but I also love the idea of trying to hold more notice for things that do and don’t make me feel good/better. as someone with physical chronic illness as well as mental, not to mention being a daily carer for a loved one, admittedly this theme can be hard for me. even learning about self care seems to be a hard concept for me at times as my life can get pretty chaotic enough for self care to be the last thing on my mind more often than not and can make it difficult for me to even know what methods of self care feel right for me! 

so as I put the effort into carving self care and me-time this week I will also put a focus on noticing how different things make me feel ☺️ whether that’s taking notice when something I’m doing is pushing the level of physical energy spoons I have or how a chosen self care activity is making me feel. 

hopefully I remember to report back this time next week but if not I will try to whenever I get a spare chance in my busy schedule after that, love your work as always @AuntGlow 💗

Hi @AuntGlow

Thank you for inviting me to this.

Today I have spent the majority of the day in my own space.
I'm noticing I feel disconnected from the world, and no thought of connection feels that it would change that. A few messages from friends, one just called.
Life admin, went to the gym.
I've noticed the quiet, the silence feels really uncomfortable right now.
I have read, watched a few episodes of a series for distraction.
I'm aware that many people love time like this, away from all the busy-ness of life.
My social cup is full from the last few days, yet, feels empty at the same time.

In my body, I feel pressure on the sides of my neck, a tightness in my knees.
I had a nap earlier and woke up with a raising heart beat. I don't recall if/what I dreamt and it was unsettling.

In a long way, I've noticed that I find time alone lonely, made a bit frustrating by being emotionally tired.

"I know things have been overwhelming this week, so I am curious to know if you were able to slow down at all over the weekend?"

Thankyou for asking, Aunt Glow. Hmm "slowing down"?... well since seeing my new psychologist Wednesday and starting to face and process my schemas I've focussed on selfcare (and homecare as selfcare). So I'm starting to reconnect with routines. With the easing  of some anxiety I'm calmer, I feel my breathing and heart rate have slowed and I'm actually getting more done! 

Noticing? Good call. Two things come to mind. I want to be aware of when I'm copping out by doomscrolling - which I think becomes a dissociative state for me. And I want to stay with uncomfortable feelings and snippets of memory long enough to process them and have an idea of where they're coming from. The psychologist has suggested EMDR and noticing could help me get ready for it.

@AuntGlow I will try. 

I'm saying this because I'm noticing that I'm feeling really overwhelmed about adding anything else to my plate right now. I feel like I only have energy for work and for looking for work for next year. Anything else on top of that sends me into a spin and makes me feel swamped. This is coming up in many aspects at the moment, including an upcoming GP appointment and starting lawn bowls commitments again after having a two week break. 

@AuntGlow At church today my being was shifting through a whole range of feelings as different things were happening. I maintained reasonable composure on duty as the organist again. So I noticed the flow of my feelings, whether it be related to the music, the playing, the readings or the preaching.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9WLVBfLaLE 

I played this, the hymns and the trumpet voluntary, but not on a proper pipe organ.

I noticed the lady who had been mean and complained a month ago, and probably played a few more wrong notes from anxiety about her, but overall it was good enough and I talked with 2 people on the music team, so had some human connection and a cuppa. One of those on the music team had been a bit territorial when I first arrived at the church 4 1/2 years ago, but is being decent now, partly cos I was assertive with her a couple years ago. The new conductor has always been lovely, fair and collegial. Noticing the ups and downs of interpersonal dynamics, but me being moderately steady and functional, regardless. Learning to let it be their problems, rather than my family and I having ALL the problems.  Then I went to visit a vulnerable friend who had not been well enough to get to church. 

Hello @AuntGlow been a bit extra tired from meds stuff and life stressors so not posting as much.

With study, as more units were introduced I found what they were teaching did not align with what really happens in the workplace. I know they have to teach this but I have worked in a broad range of industries and roles and what is proposed in theory for the most part is not put into practice. I could not listen to it anymore. I would be agitated in class and walk out frustrated and feeling like I was a fraud sitting there having to listen to this and acknowledge my presence in the classroom. I could not deal with the fakeness anymore. So I withdrew.

Volunteering is good for the most part. Most beneficial parts are I am getting out, almost socialising with other people that want to contribute to the community as well. It can be really fun, especially working in the candy bar, I get to work with a variety of people, do a variety of shifts and meet people who are usually in a good mood as they are there to take some time away from life and do something nice for themselves. Watch a show, move or performance 😊

@AuntGlow my intention is to grieve the loss of my uncle who passed away Saturday and try not to feel overwhelmed.

I'm very sorry for your loss @ENKELI sending you lots of 💜

@AuntGlow   Hello lovely how are you? 

Yes the medication changes are still brutal. The supposedly ongoing mental health local service can’t support people for more than 6 months so I’m being booted off mid taper and left completely with no support other than SANE. I’m terrified and feeling multiple withdrawal symptoms. It’s so very unfair. 
 
My GP isnt collaborative. They are in a big rush to decrease my medicine more and my body just isn’t ready. 

The support here from the community is absolutely amazing. 

Hello @Cuddlebear sorry about late reply, struggling a bit.

That is good that you have some support but I do understand it is not the same as having a friend to go and do things with.

How are you feeling? Any better? I am as mentioned not doing the best but I had paid to go and listen to an author talk last night - Trent Dalton. I did not stay long but I got his book and came home

Sorry that you're still not doing well @Kashmina . I'm glad you still were able to go to get the book though - I hope reading that will be some good rest time and/or distraction. I'm not familiar with that author, so I have google his name. I see he is the one who wrote the story Boy Swallows Universe - wow! I saw the Netflix tv version of it and liked it 😊.

---

@Cuddlebear wrote:

@AuntGlow   Hello lovely how are you? 

Yes the medication changes are still brutal. The supposedly ongoing mental health local service can’t support people for more than 6 months so I’m being booted off mid taper and left completely with no support other than SANE. I’m terrified and feeling multiple withdrawal symptoms. It’s so very unfair. 
 
My GP isnt collaborative. They are in a big rush to decrease my medicine more and my body just isn’t ready. 

The support here from the community is absolutely amazing. 

---

I am doing well @Cuddlebear. You have been on my mind. 💛

You are right, this is incredibly unfair. I am so sorry you are going through this... 

Not having a collaborative GP and care team would feel completely alienating right now. 

I am very glad our community has been a place of support during this time - we will always be here for you. Though, I am wondering, is there anything specific that might help you to feel more supported during this time? 

Thank you @AlwaysMyself I am going to start to research burnout more as this is not shifting and I am having such challenging days.

That serious was amazing! The story is about Trent's life. He was Eli. He is a very down to earth Aussie guy. Glad his life has worked out for him because it could have gone the other way considering how he was raised.

How are you going?

I am not good at looking after myself and not getting burnt out, @Kashmina lol. But i am slowly getting better at it. Spoke to my GP today actually about it and the idea of taking some time off work to recover.

Im doing OK, but had a lot of challenging thinking this afternoon. Its become most days, but this evening was hard to push out of mind, but thankfully wasnt too intense so i could distract myself with mobile games that require focus/thinking. My thoughts are related to my feeling burntout i think in part.

Sorry to hear @AlwaysMyself you are not doing so well 🤗

I understand about the thoughts thing. I have found myself quite emotional lately about the struggles I am still facing. I just cant seem to shift the momentum this time.

It is good that you have found a distraction that works. Although I am sure it doesnt all the time. Taking some time off work is a good idea if it can be managed.

Its difficult, our life is not set up for us to fully recover properly unless you have a partner that can support you or plenty of money to not work.

I hope you have a good day and let me know how you go with discussing it with work, if you go down that road 😊

@Kashmina  Hello lovely how are you? How are you feeling? It sounds like you are going through a rough time. Here to talk if you need. 

I’m glad you did manage to go to authors talk and pick up the book. I know it can be so very hard to do this stuff when you are not feeling well. What is the book called? Have you started reading it? 

@AuntGlow  Hello how are you? How is the weekend going? Anything on for you? 

Yes it is very hard when mental health well being local and GP disagree. My GP is also upset with me because I’m not ready to taper further down yet due to still having significant withdrawals. The taper off this medicine is supposed to be slow and wait till patients body and withdrawal symptoms are manageable and mine are not due to the drops being too quick. GP said if I don’t go according to his plan he will only see me once a fortnight. He said he doesn’t need to listen to me feeling unwell and experiencing SI (I’m safe). I see him weekly just during this taper as I’m unwell and the taper has caused stage 2 hypertension. At one point I had serotonin toxicity. They also need mental health wrllbeing local believe the taper is too fast and they’re concerned. They called him and spoke to him but it hasn’t made a difference. He didn’t force a further reduction and I see him Tuesday which I’m dreading. 

Im really stuck. I have chronic health conditions too and this GP I’ve been seeing for around 10 years. 

It would help if I had access to a bulk billing psychiatrist. Can’t find any. I should put a post up on forums here perhaps others might have some lived experience on how to get through this. 

Hello lovely @Cuddlebear, 

I am doing well! It's been a very busy month, but I am hopefully slowing down a bit now. 💖

Oh gosh, this sounds so, so tough... I can hear that even though he is familiar, he isn't really able to provide a space that allows you to feel heard and truly supported... do you have a psychologist or counsellor at the moment? 

And yes, a bulk-billing psychiatrist would be so helpful! I wish there were more options in this regard... hmm, let me think on it. When was the last time you saw one and were they private or public based?

I think making your own post that is dedicated to this would be so helpful! 🫶

@AuntGlow 

Noticing 

You suggested I post here in the intentions thread 

Starting to notice an emptiness at times which is different to feeling blank. Possibly a good thing as an incentive - knowing something is missing means I can think about it and maybe act on it.

Easier to deal with than being full of anxiety.

I wish I'd notice when I lose track and doomscroll. It heightens my general anxiety and prevents me from doing things that would help address specific worries. I should set a timer.

And I'm noticing dynamics and social hierarchies and plays for dominance in the 2 groups I've just joined, without knowing how to respond appropriately. @Appleblossom is further along than I am. (Sending you a cheerio Apple.)

Good afternoon, forum friends! 🌞☕️

@BlueBay What you have shared makes complete sense, and I find myself in that position when I am feeling vulnerable as well. Beautiful noticing. How has time with little A been? 💛

@lonemushroom Oh my goodness! That is INCREDIBLE. I am so happy you have rediscovered dance. Please tell me more - what style of dancing? And what are you noticing about yourself when you are in that space? Also, putting effort into self-care sounds so nourishing. How did it feel to practice noticing  throughout the past couple of weeks? PS: so nice to reconnect here! 💖

@peaceandsafety Thank you for sharing all of your self-witnessing. I can definitely hear a theme around feeling lonely and I am curious to know if you have noticed anything more around this theme throughout the past couple of weeks?

@NightFury I know there's a lot coming up for you at the moment surrounding change... what have you noticed about your inner resilience? 

@Appleblossom It sounds like you're able to sit in that space of noticing a lot more lately, especially at chuch, with music, and your interpersonal dynamics. I am curious to know what else you noticed this week?

@Kashmina Well, I am very proud of you for knowing what was right for you - it takes courage to step away from something and put our own wellbeing/inner-compass first. 

Your volunteering sounds like so much fun!! I am really glad you are connecting with your joy here. What are you noticing about yourself when you're in that space?

@ENKELI I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your uncle... how have you been caring for yourself this week? And have you had much support? 💛

@Dimity "Knowing something is missing means I can think about it and maybe act on it." - yes, that's absolutely helpful insight to have, and the beauty of bearing witness to ourselves. 

A timer for scrolling sounds very helpful. Maybe the noticing could begin with when you pick up your phone? And ah, the social dynamics and heirarchies would be really challenging...  keeping within this theme, what do you notice you need when you're in that space?

@Captain24 curious to know if you have noticed anything new too? ☺️

I guess after my GP appointment today. I notice my moods and what is different to normal. I guess it’s a good thing that I can notice that things are happening just not the normal way. @AuntGlow 

@AuntGlow I've noticed...

That I have hit a point where I am really struggling, and feeling really down and flat and burn out, but I'm still showing up (even when it's hard and I don't particularly want to). I've noticed that it's impacting on my capacity at work, and while it does frustrate me and I do slip into self-blame, and into worrying what others think of me (my colleagues, my principal, my supervisors), the rest of the time, I am able to sit in a space of...maybe not acceptance, but acknowledgement. I see it and can acknowledge that I am not at my best. 

It is really great that you're able to notice these changes, and if compassion and curiosity are brought into the picture... then being able to support those changes is even more accessible. @Captain24 💛

Thank you for sharing this with us. @NightFury 💛

This is such a wonderful, balanced reflection - and that's it: acknowledgement. How can we allow those experiences to be there, without judgement? To welcome them and embrace them as much as possible? 🥰

Hello my beautiful forum friends. 💛

Firstly, I want to thank you for showing up to this thread with so much openness and a genuine willingness to explore your intentions with me. 

Witnessing your growth and self-reflections over the past 6 months has been incredibly heartwarming and inspiring. 🥹

So with that, I invite you to explore the intention to thank you. 

Where can you thank yourself for showing up this year? 💖

✨ Oh, and @rav3n has offered a wonderful bonus intention to close out 2025 as well!! 

"What can you explore releasing to enter the new year just that tiny bit lighter, brighter, and more hopeful?" 

We are very much looking forward to your reflections. 🥰

@NightFury @Captain24 @Dimity @Cuddlebear @Snowie @Oaktree @Till23 @Eve7 @Appleblossom @Bunniekins @heartathome @ENKELI @TAB @PeppyPatti @Sunnyside226 @Kashmina @MissGremlin @Shaz51 @AlwaysMyself @Chasingsunsets @TeaPositive @MotherDuck @peaceandsafety @creative_writer @GezzaP @Blackcloud @lonemushroom @ENKELI @BlueBay @Cuddlebear @DownMoreThanUp @SmilingGecko @Glisten @avant-garde @Bow 

@tyme @Jynx @Ru-bee 

For finally realising the extent of the help I need and persevering to find that help. 

That's all I can muster right now. 

Thanks @AuntGlow 

That's perfect, thank you so much for sharing. I am proud of you. @peaceandsafety 💖

@AuntGlow 

I would like to thank myself for not quitting my studies this year, even when it was hard and overwhelming.

As for what I will release? I think I will try and release feeling so stressed and anxious and just remind myself that I am ok and safe and that I am capable.

@rav3n 

yesss so proud of you for getting through your studies!! @Oaktree releasing that anxiousness is one i'd like to release too, thanks for sharing 💗

Lovely idea @AuntGlow @rav3n .

I guess I can "thank" (??) myself for being willing to "give things a chance" and engaging extra support services this year to help myself cope (despite the cost).

I can release... 🤔

I will be continually trying to remember ("release") to not feel guilty or ashamed about taking time off to try to recover and find a palatable life.

@AlwaysMyself such a great response, you absolutely deserve guilt-free time to recover!! 💙

@AuntGlow , @rav3n 

I would like to thank myself for keeping My Kidney disease stage 4 and other physical health (diabetes, osteoporosis, and other problems) this year Stable

even when it was very hard and overwhelming at times when every day is different 

As for what I will release.? 

I think I will try and release the feeling of worrying and being anxious every time when I get my regular blood tests results and testing my blood sugar 4 times a day every day

and to remind myself that I am ok and safe and that I am capable for the year to come in any situation (either stable or on dialysis)

@Shaz51 you've been working so hard, looking after Mr Shaz and yourself too!! even on the hard days, you pushed through 💙

@AuntGlow I don't think I can thank myself for anything this year  except perhaps persisting. Arguably a less than admirable trait.

I don't know what to release other than attachments. I'm not Buddhist but perhaps that's a way forward with less pain.

Proud of you for following through, I know how much courage and discipline that takes. @Oaktree 🫶

Reminding myself "that I am ok and safe and that I am capable" is such a beautiful intention to take into the new year. 

You can absolutely thank yourself for showing up to support services - that's huge!! @AlwaysMyself 

I really like this intention for you, self-compassion is such an important part of recovery. I will be here to remind you of this. 🫶

Persisting is an incredibly admirable trait. I am always so inspired by you and how much you keep showing up for yourself, even when it's hard. @Dimity 

Forming attachments is a very normal part of being human, but we can certainly benefit from practicing healthy detachment if we are becoming overwhelmed or consumed by an outcome. What attachments would you like to release? 💛

Keeping your health conditions stable is such an amazing feat @Shaz51. It shows how hard you have been working to prioritise your wellbeing, even when things have been challenging. You definitely deserve to release some pressure here, you are doing all that you can and you should be really proud!!

Thank you so much for sharing this with us. 🥰

@AuntGlow 

I thank myself for still being alive and somewhat functional.  Really dont know if I should have been more assertive about all the legal issues or if putting it off to next year, just compounds the problems. 

Not sure what to release:  Trying not to be cutesy and woooo hippy ... or hang onto outdated things, as I am confronted by family history, yesterday with my nephew looking for answers... so much ... for letting go of the past .... cos if we dont understand we are doomed to repeat... the gorgeous dumb brother who did push the positivity and let of the past, is still dead, and I spoke to his kids on phone ... trying not to self whip ... might be the thing to let go of ... staying alive... sorry its pretty bottomline.

Thank you for sharing this @Appleblossom 🫶

What you have experienced has been so utterly complex and challenging... so I think that acknowledging this and being kind to yourself is really important - as well as softening into what is within your control. 

You have worked so hard, you deserve some time for you and your family over this Christmas period. 🥰

@AuntGlow Thank you ... for .... softening into what is within your control. 

@AuntGlow releasing attachments... the notion everything is transient and impermanent is hard to accept when losses are painful.

Sometimes I think attachments to people only lead to pain and loss but that's perhaps a trauma response, and there are people I cherish but rarely or never see. I've lost so many to death or estrangement. 

Attachments to material things are a problem. I live very simply but struggle with hoarding. I like to think I'm recovering but the pace is glacial so I'm kidding myself. I'm deeply ashamed.

I'm addicted to knowledge and trying to be well informed. Release from that compulsion might free me for living more actively but would threaten my sense of self.

@AuntGlow 

The veil has fallen.
I have seen the deep pattern that I sought in FP.
The repetition of the familiarity with the lack from which my mother was unable to provide.
Xmas eve, all core wounds were triggered. FP was not attuned to a single one, escalated the intensity.
Ended up in ED.
Was bounced from there the following morning.
Sought support via private clinic. Those places are not for acute crisis and do not hide that they are a money grab.
Removed myself from there when no support was provided despite and appointment being set.
Engaged HOPE team (for those in Melbourne, you may be aware of this). They are angels.
Was able to see my psych on short notice.
Stayed with a friend for a few days.
Found out who really was ready to take to action vs platitudes.
FP offered nothing but empty words.
I set a boundary.
Received a manipulative, ultimatum based text yesterday. Showed true colours.
Needless to say, that is over, I refuse to continue to cycle with false idols.
My intention, to not get sucked into the strong self belief and charisma of those who claim they know the way.
To recognise what it is like when people REALLY show up.
To not budge when my abandonment fear is screaming, knowing it will only continue the cycle.
Surface level masked as deep understanding and spiritual alignment is intoxicating, yet a false idol.
The drive towards familiarity has perpetuated my pain for years.
I refuse to continue this. I am not responsible for others emotions.
I see the few who have turned up for me.
Not with hallmark comments, but with action. With offerings of support, with deep understanding, with background efforts to understand quiet bpd, with questions around what I need, with acceptance of the tears and pain. They do not diminish or placate me.
They have sat in silence which me as my nervous system shuts down. They have patiently listening to me as tears stream from my eyes, not with promises or cliche's, but with presence of understanding.
I am staring at a lifetime of trauma and patterns and pain all at once. Constantly jumping out at me. 
So my intention, is to continue with the therapeutic path and ignore the washiness of those who cannot be present. I will not explain myself to those unattuned.
My world has gotten smaller, but the strength is those few is unparalleled.

Hello @peaceandsafety 💛

Wow, I really connected with what you shared - abandonment stuff is incredibly painful to sit with, isn't it? I am so, so proud of you for seeking support and coming to the realisation that you are, in fact, worth more; more connection, more consistency, more consideration... emotional attunement is vital for people with attachment wounding, and it sounds like redirecting your energy towards those who are able to show up, will be so healing for you. 

What supports will you have this year to assist you in this process? And how can we help? 🥰

Of course @Dimity 💛

Losing this many people would be incredibly painful... it seems so unfair, doesn't it? That we are allowed to love and connect so deeply, but that our connections will inevitably end when someone passes. I think it's okay to find this concept hard to grapple with. 

Have you been able to explore how hoarding helps you? I can imagine if you're able to sit with the need it's meeting, then maybe you could invite in some compassion for that part of you who is just trying their best to survive and feel regulated? 

"I'm addicted to knowledge and trying to be well informed. Release from that compulsion might free me for living more actively but would threaten my sense of self." - this is such an interesting reflection! When you say it would threaten your sense of self, what does that mean to you? 🫶

Welcome to your first Sunday Intention Setting of 2026!! 🥳

To begin with, we're keeping it simple: I invite you to set an intention that feels light, accessible, and achievable. So, if you check-in with where you're at and work from that place - what could that look like for you? 💖 

@NightFury @Captain24 @Till23 @AlwaysMyself @Chasingsunsets @peaceandsafety @Dimity @Appleblossom @Shaz51 @Oaktree @PeppyPatti @ENKELI @Cuddlebear @Snowie @Eve7 @Bunniekins @heartathome @TeaPositive @creative_writer @GezzaP @Blackcloud @lonemushroom @BlueBay @DownMoreThanUp @Bow @avant-garde @MissGremlin @Sunnyside226 @Realness @MJG017 @REDLINEZ750 @RebelliousAngel @Kashmina @Mustang67 @Rosepetal96 @Judi9877 @SmilingGecko 

I guess my intention could be going to work for the next 4 days. It’s not light but it’s all I’ve got. @AuntGlow 

@AuntGlow 

My intention is to be a good hostess for friends who are coming to visit. This includes a bit of balance and looking after my own mental health. That might look like sleep in’s or taking some time to myself while they are here. I don’t want to end up tired and burnt out at the end of the visit.

@Oaktree @AuntGlow @Captain24 @peaceandsafety @Dimity 

Dear @Oaktree @you know the funny thing is that I bet your friends all might need little times out too 

it is so interesting you are writing that to me That I bet it’s easy for other people to forget but you got your class to see those Joe dispenza video didn’t you ? I was quite impacted on that but I find it hard to watch his video. I bought an audible on Joe dispenza I listen to every now and again and that’s wonderful in the guided meditation 

@Captain24 ide be gentle with you. I’m wondering if you are putting your job at risk though lol 

@Dimity @peaceandsafety 

@TAB 

@AuntGlow  i am starting with eating better. today i ate all organic veggies healthy carbs and protein. i am aiming to eat more veggies, fruit and protein. no junk food at all. that is the aim to set an example to my children and myself that i can do this. 

@AuntGlow 

My intention for the year ahead is to lose weight. I am going to start after my friends leave. I have bought a book on audible about hypnotic gastric banding.

Hopefully it works out. I have listened to the first part and it makes sense.

Hello @AuntGlow 😍

My intention for the year ahead is to 

1) to keep my physical health problems stable (kidney disease)

2) to keep my gardens heathy and growing (more flowering plants)

To begin with, we're keeping it simple: I invite you to set an intention that feels light, accessible, and achievable. So, if you check-in with where you're at and work from that place - what could that look like for you? 

how about you 😍

@The-red-centaur , @Spirit_Healer , @Faith-and-Hope @Judi9877 @Emelia8 , @SleeplessRaven @oceangirl , @john74 , @Alily @FearofUnknown , @Healandlove @Anastasia 

@AuntGlow is the intention we're setting for the year, or is it for a shorter period of time, like this week? 

@NightFury 

I did both but you can do either 

Hi @AuntGlow 

My intention for the week is to get to the bottom of my pains and hoping to get results of my breath test. 

@AuntGlow finding a small joy to pull from a moment in the day ✨️ 

@AuntGlow 

Thanks for the kind words.
I ended it with no reply. No reply IS a response.
I see it all so clearly now, not just my own patterns and cycles, but the deceit that was presented to me in a righteous form.
I found the words to describe the state that I am in, Trauma Bond Withdrawal.

I've had other friends disappoint me as well. The few that have showed up, they showed up with meaning and purpose.

You ask about this year... that seems incredibly long and makes me feel panic.
This month, and the next 2, if I am fortunate enough, HOPE will keep for me onboard for the full 3 month term.
I have an assigned peer support person, access to an OT, a nutritionist, possibly a psychiatrist, but I know how that story goes as I've been through it enough times.
They will spend time with me every week and I will have access to their face to face support group during the time.

I do appreciate this forum and, I also need human connection.
For the first time, I spoke to someone, who has lived BPD experience and in remission.
Not words on a screen, a story, from another persons mouth to my ears.

Other than HOPE, I have my DBT psych.
I've been pushed back on the MBT waitlist.
I'm not stable enough (considered just exiting acute crisis) and they prefer I only work with one psych at a time.

So what does my support look like this year? I don't know. HOPE will be done by mid March, I'll have DBT, 2 friends who make so much effort for me and 2 who whilst they don't understand, I know would walk through fire to carry me through it.
Amongst all this I need to manage a high pressure job and need to keep moving. I didn't walk or gym for 2 weeks, I sedated, slept and grieved.

To answer your question around how can the forum help, I don't know. 
I appreciate the check ins and the tagging, I'm not sure what I can offer right now.

@AuntGlow my intention at the moment is to get a MHCP for a referral to a therapist that provides all sorts of therapy styles that are appropriate for a specific concern I’ve been dealing with for most of my life, like ACT, DBT, schema therapy etc. luckily I’ve found a specific therapy service that I wish to get referred to because what they’ve mentioned on their website seems to match on what I’m looking for for a neurodiverse-affirming therapist like them. 

@AuntGlow my first intention for the year is to get by. I'm expecting a major mh crisis next week, coincidentally nearly a year since a relapse and hospitalisation. At that stage 5 or more life and health issues had converged and I succumbed. 

I'm scared. All I can do is hope to ride it out.

Oh @Dimity, we are here with you, lovely. 

What can we do to support you right now? 

We don't want you to have to feel this fear on your own... it must be so much to hold.

What do you think will help to keep you safe this week? 💛

My intention for 2026 is to have one new experience every month. This could include going to see a new movie, going to see a show, trying a new food, etc @AuntGlow. In January I went to the basketball for the first time. I am trying to find things that make me feel happiness, that make me feel excited, that make me feel something positive. And I am going to take photos of each experience and write a journal entry on it. 

My intention for this week is to kick off the new study period in a positive way. I want to attend the online class, and finish my first assignment. 

@AuntGlow  I think the best I can do is take a shower before Friday. 

@AuntGlow I'm wishing I had a support worker to check in with me daily next week when I'm expecting the trouble, and help me with transport etc. I think I might have completely lost it by the time I'm due to check into medical hospital later in the week. I might increase my meds prn for several days but I'm only allowed to increase them a small amount and it might not be enough. 

I really love this thread @AuntGlow 🤩, I have been taking a bit of time to think about this one actually, it’s been interesting to see how my brain as progressed from not having or thinking about any intentions to gathering a few recently a long the way... 1.Email a different real estate company every day (at least one a week), then, email every individual agent after that, time for a re hustle 💪 2. Work out how to consciously live this year to remember the year (not sure how I do this yet)

3.Work at the recent therapy started ☀️

How about you Auntglow what are some of your intentions 😊

Hi @Oaktree 

I got a lap band in 2011. I couldn’t move for about 5 days after operation!! 
but it literally saved my life. Please remember going to all check ups. After 10 years the band started eroding in my stomach because I never went to the checkups. I was so ill. !! Then I got a sleeve on public. 

Simply showing up to work is a wonderful intention, especially when things have been hard. @Captain24 I am wondering what a gentle intention could be for this week? 🫶

How did it feel to cultivate that balance between caring for you and hosting your friends @Oaktree?

Wow! Organic wholefoods are so healing for the mind and body - I know I need to work on nourishing myself more too. How has it been going? @Bunniekins 

These a really wonderful intentions @Shaz51. How are your gardens growing this week? 🤩 And how are you being gentle with your body as you heal?

I would love to know if you have any updates on your pains and how they are feeling @BlueBay. 💖

Ah, I love this!! What was your small moment of joy that you pulled from today? @Rosepetal96 

This is an incredible step forward! @Blackcloud Do you have any updates? 

Amazing @NightFury. This sounds like a very heart and spirit-led intention. What do you think you'll explore as your experience next month? 😍

An act of self-care, like a shower, sounds really nourishing. @Cuddlebear Were you able to shower this week? 💛

A support worker would be incredibly helpful... have you looked for one at all yet? @Dimity 🫶

Love these intentions @Chasingsunsets!! How has your hustle been going? 💪 And have you started exploring what 'living consciously' means to you? I would like to hear more about therapy as well!!

As for me... my intention is to continue 'coming back to myself'; to really listen to my body and honour what it's asking for. 🥰

@AuntGlow i tried one of the yoga videos this morning. It was painful (even with modification) and tiring. I might try to find one that holds positions for less time as well as is less long in general, and maybe one that is target to highly inflexible/tight-muscle people 🤣, maybe a beginners-level-for-80yo level is what my body needs to start with. 🤔

But i know i can also just take any stretch/position and just hold it for as short or long as i want.

I actually dont really know.. what is the difference between yoga and stretching? Just that yoga slows more between stretch to stretch?

Trauma bond withdrawal sounds incredibly challenging - on a physiological and neurological level. @peaceandsafety 

I am curious to know how your body and mind are processing things at the moment? 💖

I understand why thinking about the year as a whole would feel daunting - keeping things present is more than okay. Moment to moment is so key when we are overwhelmed, as it allows us to slowly rebuild our capacity and rewire our responses. 

I am glad the HOPE team will continue to support you. How has it been so far? It sounds like an incredible team!
Wow, how did it feel to hear someone else's experience with BPD?
I am very happy to hear you have friends who are there for you. 🥰

Work sounds really tough... you are truly managing so much. 

How about I keep checking in and you can message back when you have the space? 🫶

@AuntGlow the moment of joy I pulled from today was visiting the blue lotus water gardens, it was so peaceful and beautiful 😍 

For February, I brought myself a ticket to see Lassu on the 1st of Feb @AuntGlow. I have never been to anything like it before. The description of the show says that it's a mixture of modern and traditional circus, dance and burlesque. 

My intention for this week...

I start my new job on Tuesday, so my intention is to be kind to myself. I am going right back to being a learner, to being "in training" and I'm learning how to work with different people, use different systems and starting to build a new routine. I need to remember to be kind to myself when I'm not perfect, when I'm learning. 

@AuntGlow yes I’m going to have my first psych appointment next Monday 

"A support worker would be incredibly helpful... have you looked for one at all yet?"

@AuntGlownot yet. Just had a hospital procedure that was the culmination of months of anticipation and "putting my affairs in order" . Now that's done I'm all out of spoons. 

@AuntGlow  Hello lovely. I had a shower last Thursday. Might muster one tonight. See how I go. Not really in the mood for doing anything. Just existing at the moment. 

Hey @AuntGlow 

It's been a nightmare 24 hours.

Went out Saturday to a music event, caught glimpse of my ex there.
I don't know if I shared in a previous post, but during my hospital admission, it became very apparent to me how she is not my person. 
She is the core wound template of my mother.
Not attuned, righteous, grandiose, can't see anything beyond her scope of understanding, never supported me the way I needed.
She wanted me to deal with my trauma on my own and only bring the masculine to the relationship.
Avoidant attachment and easily compartmentalised me from partner to friend without blinking. I was blinded by her confidence and bought into her spirtuality.
She never asked me about evidence based therapy, how DBT was going, her response to trauma was hallucinogenics. Referring me to retreats of the nature, mediums, "healers". 

Anyway, she ambushed me at home yesterday. I've had her blocked for a while now.
She used the excuse that she was returning some of my items, which I promptly threw in the bin. I had to keep my fortress up and what I witnessed was a look of confusion. I shared every truth that I had been too scared to share. Her rebuttals were weak at best. Manipulative ego driven responses delivered in a tone of warmth and care. No wonder I trauma bonded so strongly.
She did the typical bringing up the good times.
She did not even ask about me.
Platitudes of "I just want you to be happy".
Didn't even touch on my hospital or any of the crisis I've been dealing with.
Long story short, I made it clear that I did not want her in my life, that she was "dangerous to me".
I had to stay cold. Not mean, but cold, and I hated that so much because it's not how I wish to be. I had to protect my peace.
I refused a hug as we parted, despite wanting it so badly, because I knew the energy exchange had the power to crumble me.

Today I've been looping about that exchange. Her body language, I had never seen her look so defeated. Like she couldn't make sense of it.
She proclaimed to me many times that she is an "ascended master teacher".

What rubbish.

So yeah, I had that encounter just to bring everything to red raw again.

I have such little capacity for work, mental exhaustion, the weather taking it out of me (it's still 40+ degrees at 745pm).

HOPE are amazing... I have, well, had 3x people allocated to me.
Sadly, one won't be able to support me moving forward.

They will have me work their OT and nutritionist during the 3 months engagement.
They also have a psychiatrist which I can request access to. I don't feel that this will benefit me. I've seen many over the years and the outcome is always the same - meds won't help me.

You can check in whenever you want. I don't have any expectation.

I'm just surviving, new painful memories of having to push someone away who I really cared about, and was also a main part of my hurt. I have not had anyone, other than my mother, make me feel so, small, diminish anything that was important to me, throw empty words at me, not show up unless I explicitly asked for it - knowing I needed support. The narcissism...masked as spiritual guidance. A wolf in sheep's clothing.

So yeah, from one fire to another.

Through this, the 2 friends who have provided deep, attuned support, I have learnt what support looks like.
I don't do superficial friendships. There is depth, or there is nothing.

Hi @peaceandsafety 

Don't think I have met you before - nice to meet you 😊.

It sounds like you were really healthy with standing up for yourself, your needs and your boundaries yesterday. 😊

I am sorry though that they came to your house like that and didn't seem to quite grasp the concept initially that you don't want them in your life now. I hope they are able to now understand that, and don't ambush you again.

How does it feel knowing you were able to stand up and be assertive for yourself? 😊

PS - so glad you have 2 good friends who have shown you genuine support! 😍

Hi @AlwaysMyself ,

Thank you for your reply and nice to e-meet you.

I don't think she will ambush me again, I blew apart her game plan apart with my truths.
None of it would have landed with her. Everything I said would have been contradictory to the "Ascended Master Teacher" title she has given herself, which means it would have challenged everything she truly, deeply believes in herself. I would have dismantled all that by stating that she is dangerous to me, that how she thought she was helping was the complete opposite of help, how she abandoned me in public settings (bringing me to a party where I knew no one and literally left me alone without introducing me to anyone), how she would push me away when I'd spiral under the guise of "take some time to process", and so much more - including so easily changing my label without any consideration for me.

How do I feel?
I feel like it was a horrible nightmare.
I feel terrible that I had to be so cold to someone that I genuinely, with all my heart cared and loved(love?).
The looping of the way she stood there, confused and defeated.
The anger that after so many years that she refused to see what was there.

She refused to look into BPD - almost like it was a made up excuse.
The frustration that I bought into the whole spiritual awakening image with someone who is dead asleep and proclaims that their purpose is to "be of service" and "awaken" others - when they do not have the ability or capacity to see beyond their realm - or acknowledge that there are other realms of being and emotions. One size does NOT fit all...

The odd thing is, despite having quiet bpd, struggling with interpersonal relationships, have no sense of identity, chronic emptiness, sadness, grief, lack of self compassion, meaning and purpose, I hold longer term friendships than she does, at a deeper level of authenticity that she couldn't even imagine.

It's all so confusing and yeah, another nightmare that I need to deal with.

So in a nutshell, I feel really rattled.

Thank you for reaching out.

Those are really valid and understandable feelings @peaceandsafety . I hope over the coming days it will feel more and more that you are no longer in the nightmare, but have woken up from the nightmare and it is behind you (even if we may still remember it and be triggered by memories of it or feel that emotional "hangover" from it) and you are not awake and safe and in control of where to go now. 

The inner conflict between loving and caring for someone (and not wanting to hurt them by telling them the truth) but also needing to tell them the honest truth and keep boundries - super hard eh! But for what it is worth, i am really glad that you kept your boundaries where you need them. And maybe she will brush off what you said (i know some people who always deflect it as the "other persons upset" without reflecting), or maybe she will reflect on what was said and the past behaviours that she thought were helpful but were actually harmful for you - and maybe she will from that learn that (as you rightly said) "one size doesnt fit all" and to truely help people she needs to be able to listen to what they need at that time and respond to that - not just "give space alone" all the time! This could be the feedback she needs to self-reflect and in the future be a better support for someone else. (And if she doesnt take it that way? Well, that's not your fault. You can only control how you say something - so if you're calm, respectful, and honest... thats all you can do, right?)

These a really wonderful intentions @Shaz51. How are your gardens growing this week? 🤩 And how are you being gentle with your body as you heal?

Hello @AuntGlow 

the plants in the garden outside are growing as well as the weeds😂😂

I brought a couple of my begonias inside but they are not doing too well because of the heat stress 

and my blood test results shows that the kidney is still stable at 17%😁

Hey there @AuntGlow yeah I have emailed a couple of places which is good 😊.

I really love your intention, nice one 🌻🤩

I completely understand this @AlwaysMyself. Hmm, maybe exploring a trauma-informed class in person could allow for some in-person support? (If that feels okay for you)

Listening to your body is key, and you're right, you can start and stop as you need.

That's a great question. I would say that stretching is more about the physical act of creating more flexibility, whereas, yoga encompasses a very conscious relationship between the mind and body - particularly through the breath. It can also be a very spiritual practice for some people, particularly when we connect with the 8 Limbs of Yoga: https://www.yogajournal.com/yoga-101/philosophy/8-limbs-of-yoga/eight-limbs-of-yoga/

Revisiting all of this has reminded me how much I still have to learn!! Yoga (and any practice really) is a life-long process. 

Also - you can try this and be like, "this isn't for me", and that's also completely okay. 🫶

Oh my goodness, that photo looks like it's been pulled straight out of fairyland! 🧚 How magical. @Rosepetal96 have you visited anywhere like this again this week? 

How is being kind to yourself throughout your learning helping you @NightFury? 

Please tell me how your psych appointment was! @Blackcloud 

I understand being out of spoons @Dimity, so much has been going on for you. Do you have a small intention for self-care this week?

Just exisiting is enough right now @Cuddlebear. Have you noticed any small moments of enjoyment throughout your day? For example, the sunshine or a conversation here?

Ah, well, you know what they say - can't have a rainbow with the rain, so maybe it's the same here? Can't have the flowers without the weeds. 😂 @Shaz51 

@Chasingsunsets how has the real estate company hustle been going? 

And @peaceandsafety, it's so lovely to see @AlwaysMyself supporting you. 🫶 Would you like me to respond to you here or on your thread you created? Big hugs. 

Being kind to myself while learning about my new role and work place requirements and processes is hard @AuntGlow. There are things that just aren't happening at the moments (things around the home, study etc) and it's hard to stop and remind myself that it's okay.

I visited the local garden centre with my mum today! I saw loads of cute succulents and some funny ones too @AuntGlow 

---

@AuntGlow wrote:

Please tell me how your psych appointment was! @Blackcloud 

---

the appointment went very well and has definitely met my expectations! not to mention this has been the first neuro-affirming psychology clinic with neurodivergent psychologists that I wanted to get referred to, and I'm so glad that there are psychologists like this that exist now! cause now I can finally feel like I'm being listened to without considering on terminating/ceasing my service with them! @AuntGlow 

I'm getting my thyroid retested at my local doctor clinic in the upcoming weeks just to see if the results remain low, but other than that I can't wait to see and speak to my new naturopath this upcoming week and have some more upcoming sessions with her in terms of finding ways to heal naturally.

@AuntGlow I've signed up for a support worker. It won't be often as I'm unfunded. 

I've run out of spoons for now. 

This is a really, really positive step forward @Dimity. Even if your support worker is irregular, having someone on your side, to help hold some of those spoons, will be really helpful. Very proud of you for organising this. 

PS: They better be the best bloody support worker in town, or they are hearing from AuntGlow!! 😜

Haha thanks @AuntGlow yes I hope it works out. I'm hoping to have them once a fortnight. I'm quite anxious about tackling my projects and issues but hopefully having moral support and practical help will make a difference.

It will absolutely make a difference. What projects would you like to tackle with them first? @Dimity 💛

Hello my wonderful forum friends, 

It's been a while since we set some intentions together, so I thought I would pop in - say hi! - and set a little prompt to get you started:

*Think about some moments from last year - what did you notice was a common challenge you experienced and what helped you to work through that challenge?*

With that information, I encourage you to set an intention for this month that focuses on compassionately acknowledging where you're at and exploring what inner resources you may need to draw upon to support your mind and body right now. 

I am here to help you brainstorm and reflect, so please don't hesitate to check-in and let me know how you're going! 🥰

@NightFury @Till23 @Blackcloud @Dimity @Rosepetal96 @Chasingsunsets @AlwaysMyself @Snowie @Cuddlebear @Oaktree @TeaPositive @Kashmina @heartathome @Mustang67 @Judi9877 @MissGremlin @Shaz51 @Captain24 @ENKELI @Appleblossom @DownMoreThanUp @Zoe7 @Bow @peaceandsafety @Anonymouse1000 @MotherDuck @BlueBay @Bunniekins @PeppyPatti @creative_writer @GezzaP @avant-garde @Realness @Rosepetal96 @DogMan79 @SmilingGecko @MJG017 @REDLINEZ750 

Hi @AuntGlow, the challenge I consistently found myself facing last year was a constant doubt over myself with a lot of "what ifs" when I injured myself, finding it hard to find a path forward because I was drowning in so much uncertainty .

I find this challenge continues to plague me into the new year, and I've noticed it's because I'm working with an age group of children I haven't worked with for a number of years, and I feel I'm experiencing a bit of discomfort because I'm being challenged in all the exceptional ways, physically with returning to work after injury, mentally with learning to cope with a new routine and rhythm, as well as anxieties about exacerbating my healing foot and wanting to do well for the colleague in which I'm taking the lead for until they return. 

I am learning to grant myself the compassion to accept that I don't have to have everything figured out yet, and that each day is a new opportunity to grow and learn... 

I can't do this @AuntGlow I'm sorry. 

@AuntGlow 

Last year I was studying at Tafe. I spent about a quarter of the time wanting to quit. However with the aid of Finch (a self care app), I reminded myself that I really wanted to succeed. 
This year I am starting a degree so I have updated my goal. If I feel like quitting I will delay and not act on a whim. I know I can be successful. 

This is not for me especially not at this time @AuntGlow 

Ditto night fury and captain24 (Deliberately not @ since they don't want involvement)

Sorry @AuntGlow I have nothing

It's completely okay to not want to answer this question right now - I understand that it might be a heavier prompt. @NightFury @Captain24 @DogMan79 

You never have to participate in anything you don't want to, it's always just an invitation to explore and never a requirement. 🥰

You can also come back this later in the month or set an intention that feels okay for you (because this space is 100% for you). 

Here if you need to talk more about what's coming up for you, okay? 💛

This is such a huge win @Blackcloud. 

I really am so happy to hear you have aligned supports. 🫶

Naturopathic supports are a wonderful addition to your care too. 

I am sure you and @creative_writer would have a lot to discuss in this realm. 🥰

@AuntGlow  hi AuntGlow  my big intention was apologising that has set me free in so many ways.  it has taken the monkey off my back and given me the chance to move forward.   i have to now listen and put into practice my daughters words there is nothing anyone can say to me which is worse that what i have already said to myself. 

@AuntGlow and anyone else who may find my perspective useful on this...

I think a reasonable intention for me for now (as an overall) is to use my self-control and self-discipline to "honour my promise" every day, even when I don't want to. As long as I do that, anything else on any singular day that I can't do can be done on a different day. And non-important things can be deprioritised or taken off the agenda (or outsourced) altogether for awhile if needed. Sometimes just staying alive is enough.

Hello @AuntGlow how are you? Thanks for the tag! What a wonderful suggestion you have for setting intentions to gain traction and navigate forwards. I had combined health challenges over the last year and was not making any headway with doctor. Was going from pillar to post. Now I have seemed to have healed I have found a health routine that was very empowering This month I am re-committing to doing daily wellness routine to support my body so I am prepared for any future problems that may crop up. Thanks for the reminder its good to be able to steer your ship in the right direction. 

@AlwaysMyself i agree. Simply staying alive is enough.

it has been a mantra for me for a long time.

I struggled with interpersonal social stuff, so will make that my focus.  Keeping social without withdrawing.  Trying to deflect negative stuff.  Working on shielding myself, and making more firm boundaries, in my being and for others. Not letting everything get under my skin.  Not sure I can totally change myself from being sensitive, it is such a core part of who I am.  Finding ways of engaging socially, and being real and being me, but not being too open.  I did reasonably well on Sunday in small gathering of 5 musicians, made gentle jokes on par with the mood. 

On Thursday I did call out a church conductor for being "a control freak" in a group of about 15.  In that scenario my energy and jokes had been higher, as the personalities were louder.  I was surprised I said it. It was out of my mouth. Some laughed and agreed. She just replied, that she had to be, in that job, but she had been challenging her partner for "defying her".  Hmmm.   No, she doesnt have to be that controlling.  When she tried it on my son a couple of years ago, my alarm bells screamed.  No wonder my son did not keep at that choir.  With over 50 years of experience in music and ministry, I do know the difference between what is needed for musical guidance and Christian goodwill.  She knows and says she respects my experience, but I do put up with a lot with patience and politeness.  Her rigidity is not good or necessary for the music.

There are others, as I am busy and engaged.  There are a lot of people who do think they can boss and control people.  Maybe just bad habits for a range of reasons, eg., personality or work, eg classroom teachers, psychiatrists.

I need to learn how to call out control freaks in my personal space. How to do so within reasonable time, or in the moment, with deftness, that is fair and effective.  Not always submitting and complying, which was my previous style. 

Back to beginning of post... staying alive....i have been too fearful and conflict avoidant.  This world is full of humans. I have to face it.

@Appleblossom 

Good on you for being so assertive and calling out the conductor for being too controlling. The music probably does suffer. Love to you hun xxx

Hi @AuntGlow @tyme @Jynx and others here. What an interesting thread topic- very thought provoking yet interesting and challenging at the same time. Thank you for providing this @AuntGlow !

My intentions for this year are based on self care and reflections in the form of keeping a journal and helping me deal with all challenges- carer, personal, academic, etc- that come my way. I started the year off by purchasing a 365 notebook from Kmart whereby I list 3 types of things on a daily basis which are:

- Song

- Good Thing

- Reflections/Thoughts/Ideas

as well as taking a daily photo on my phone to store in a folder which I will then print out at the end of the year. I do my journal each morning reflecting on the previous day over my morning coffee and find it to be really helpful and a great way of getting things out of my head and onto paper. For the song, it’s usually 1 I’ve played on my phone the previous day - music is very important to me and my mental health - so I’m hoping by the end of the year, I’ll have a decent playlist to look back on and play. For the good thing, this is something that I think has been good about the previous day and a way of being grateful and reflecting on what has made it a good thing such as surviving the previous day if it’s been difficult or doing a new word puzzle out of a magazine. For reflections, ideas, thoughts, etc, it’s a way of getting things down that have caused me issues or positive things or ideas that I may have that I’d like to explore in the future, such as realising that drinking Pepsi max late at night isn’t a great idea or learning that I’m good at word puzzles and it’s a great way of challenging myself yet relaxing at the same time. My daily photo could be of something I’ve taken myself such as the tree at my uni residence, a craft photo or something I’ve seen on Facebook that I’d like to keep as a resource for future reference for example. 

My carer peer worker was and is big on self care as a carer and they have said this is very important when taking on a caring role which I have done as of last year as you need to look after yourself if you are to take care of others. Suffice to say, I’ve taken them up on this advice with my daily journal idea and am really enjoying the experience of it. I find it to be therapeutic and calming yet helpful and insightful as well as inspiring to see what things I can come up with and what has been going on for me over the past 24 hours. I know I’ll be able to reflect on this year at the end and look back to hopefully see some changes in my thinking and ideas and how I handled certain things and what was good about it, even if it didn’t seem like that at the time. Like today for example has been challenging with my housemate being physically ill and self discharging from hospital yet her mental health and intellectual disability firing up and her making comments about doing certain bad things and taking her behaviour out on me via phone calls and text messages. Luckily for me, I was able to call a carer helpline and get help as to how to handle this situation and I’m now in a better head space to deal with it. A cup of tea and some crocheting has also helped me immensely as well - part of my self care routine. I’m feeling happier and more relaxed now so that’s a positive and something I’ll note in my journal entry tomorrow about today.

I look forward to seeing what other forum members post on this thread.

Take care and stay safe!

Judi9877

This is such a wonderful approach @Judi9877 and I especially love your inclusion of music in your daily reflections!! If you ever feel like sharing some tunes with the community, there's a thread called Everything Music or if you like, there's this one for songs that describe your current mood!!

Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry that stuff with your roommate is so tense, but it sounds like you are taking some solid steps to supporting yourself, like reaching out and engaging in some creativity (yay crocheting!) and comforts. 

Appreciate you keeping us updated on your world hun, always warms me to read 💜

Hello @AuntGlow . @Appleblossom remarked on being fearful and conflict avoidant. Me too but there's conflict anyway, especially with someone with a neurological disorder.

My intention is to more than halve my physical footprint (downsize and death clean) and try to expand my social network to compensate for resulting relationship losses and loss of identity. It's very painful.

@Dimity @AuntGlow Yes, it is pretty hard to avoid conflict in this world, and I have tried blooming hard, dodging bull ets this way and that.

Good luck with new relationships and simplifying life. 

I am on similar journey, and I too think about it in a similar way, though not called it death clean.  I am trying to be grateful for the little glimmers in my social world, but there are also now a very large truckload of triggers, whether people intend them or not.  Complex backstories are hard when reintegrating into new social fabric.  

Hello @AuntGlow if you're on today.

I just wanted to say I've been grateful for this thread, and for your support and suggestions on other threads.  They've helped me quite a lot.

Hello @AuntGlow 😊

Hello lovely people,

Thank you for checking in. I am so glad this thread has been helpful for you. 🥰

I am catching up on everyone's messages from the past week, then I shall give our intentions some much-needed TLC! I am sorry I haven't been around as much, please know that I am thinking of you all. 🫶

Do you have any ideas for some intention-setting themes we could explore this month? @Shaz51 @Dimity ✨

I'm not sure @AuntGlow . For me I'm thinking about the change of season. What to ramp up or where I can ease down. A friend is starting to think about Seasonal Affective Disorder again.

Noting the change of season could be really helpful - acknowledging where we may need 'ramp up or slow down' is a great intention. What are you leaning towards? 

And yes, SAD is very much a thing for many (including myself). Do you notice it impacts you much? And if so, what might you need to feel more supported during the seasonal shift? @Dimity 🫶

@AuntGlow 

Boost time outside as sunlight weakens (boost outdoor activity - walking and gardening). So I need to be fitter, and comply with my exercise regime.

Reduce mindless screentime. But enjoy more slow time with books and music. Lately I've been trying a daily lectio practice with poetry and other readings.

And I'm steeling myself to do hard life admin tasks I'd been unable to face.

Ah, these are wonderful intentions - ones I would like to explore too! (Especially being active outside and slowing down with analogue media). I can see both of these activities really helping @Dimity 💛

What is one life admin task you'd like to do this week? 

@AuntGlow I need to sort out some banking... I took the first steps tonight. 

There's other pressing stuff too but that would be a start.

Well, helloooo everyone!!

It has been far too long since I checked in, so I thought it only appropriate to pop into our Sunday Intention Setting practice with a reflective prompt. 🤩

"Find what feels good."

I love this prompt *credit to Yoga with Adriene*, because it's so simple and effective and it allows us to give ourselves permission to experience joy, ease, and lightness. 

So, what feels good for you? Is it the sun on your face, a hug with your dog, a walk in nature, a big stretch, singing your favourite song, a chat with a friend, or finally completing that one small task you have been putting off? *points to self*

Please use this space to 'Notice what feels good', to reflect, and to celebrate one another throughout the process!

PS: I also encourage you to set any other intentions that feel right or aligned for you + share and create intentions for the group! 🎉🫶

@Shaz51 @NightFury @MissGremlin @Captain24 @Bow @Snowie @Dimity @Appleblossom @Judi9877 @Meowmy @TAB @ENKELI @heartathome @Realness @Blackcloud @Ruby26 @SaltwaterSoul @Oaktree @Mustang67 @Till23 @PeppyPatti @creative_writer @SmilingGecko @AlwaysMyself @Rosepetal96 @Zoe7 @NatureLover @Cuddlebear @TeaPositive @REDLINEZ750 @DownMoreThanUp @Anonymouse1000 @GezzaP @peaceandsafety @Bunniekins @DogMan79 @FridgeMagnet @Jacques @Chasingsunsets @MatchaToad @Glisten 

@AuntGlow Hugging my awesome dog Zeus

@Dimity @Shaz51 @Appleblossom @Jynx @heartathome @ENKELI 

Zeus is adorable!! @DownMoreThanUp 

@AuntGlow That was Zeta, took the wrong one of the two, only saw it now. We sold Zeta for i could no longer look after her. She is  a good hands and although i missed her heaps it has not been overly painful emotional. i had planned to breed her with Zeus. She turned 2 and her cycle was any day, so i had to act. A pity. But life does not always go the way we wish. Not my life anyhow.

I am so sorry to hear that you had to sell Zeta @DownMoreThanUp. That would have been really, really hard. 🫶

@DownMoreThanUp  WANT!  Zeus. Here Zeus. Treats? 
@DownMoreThanUp  I will House-Dog sit for you anytime.

Just got to moosh that face.

The bigger the dog the better. 

@AuntGlow  and everyone what makes me feel good are so many things .... hmmm one of them but not the most would be this wonderful cool weather.  i am loving wearing warm clothing and feeling the chill winds on my face .... simply fantastic!

@AuntGlow @Glisten No way will give get rid of my boy. He is my biggest friend. My cuddle pot. He has a growl on him that intimated all strangers, but no matter how  wild the play and vicious his growling he will not hurt. The best part of Zeus in his growl. We love growling together, such good release of tension or aggression in a playful way.  When my wife sees/hears us play together she fears he will eat me alive, but in reality he lick me to death log before he dream about harming.

And yes i love his face too @Glisten his granddad won a competition with very much the same looks.

@Bunniekins @Dimity @Shaz51 

i love him to bits and he me. And yes i do miss Zeta, it was really hard to sell her. And for pennies too, for we choose an owner we knew would take good care of her.

Biggest of mates they were.. Poor Zeus hyperventalited his stress a whole night after we sold Zeta.Zeus and Zeta became best friends when they met first day.

@AuntGlow woohoo! Yours is the first post my support button worked for via my lappy top!

"Find what feels good"

Oooh that leaves it wide open lol! 

Having a coffee and checking in with my Sane family

Finishing my assessment and getting up to date in my studies

Faith

A good pair of jeans that fit properly 🤣

@Shaz51 @NightFury @MissGremlin @Captain24 @Bow @Snowie @Dimity @Appleblossom @Judi9877 @Meowmy @TAB @heartathome @Realness @Blackcloud @Ruby26 @SaltwaterSoul @Oaktree @Mustang67 @Till23 @PeppyPatti @creative_writer @SmilingGecko @AlwaysMyself @Rosepetal96 @Zoe7 @NatureLover @Cuddlebear @TeaPositive @REDLINEZ750 @DownMoreThanUp @Anonymouse1000 @GezzaP @peaceandsafety @Bunniekins @DogMan79 @FridgeMagnet @Jacques @Chasingsunsets @MatchaToad @Glisten 

@DownMoreThanUp oh my goodness, look at that face!! I can see why that would make you feel good 🙂

Ah, it's so cozy, isn't it?! @Bunniekins 

I enjoy the rainy at-home days most, they are so grounding. 🥰

haha yes! @ENKELI 

LOVE THIS! Having my morning coffee is one of my biggest joys. Checking in with your SANE family sounds incredibly nourishing too. 

I like that it's often the little things laced throughout our days that can have the biggest impact on our wellbeing. 

Finishing an assessment is always a huge sigh of relief, so good on you! What was this last one focused on?

Faith is a wonderful point of lightness and connection too.

A good pair of jeans that fit properly, my gosh, chance would be a fine thing!! 😂😂

Zeus sounds like a secret sweetheart! Very similar to my partner's dog. Looks like he might bite but actually just goes straight in for the kisses! 😂 @DownMoreThanUp 

"Find what feels good "

@AuntGlow 

To me 

Is to have a coffee ☕️ and check on my sane family daily 

Love to have a early cuppa on the downstairs patio in the morning 

After doing some daily  jobs, I like to play " words with friends " on my phone 

Coffee and connecting with your SANE family sounds really grounding. I am noticing a bit of a theme here. @Shaz51 😋

The downstairs patio must be so beautiful and serene, a perfect space for a cuppa. 😍

Words with friends is such a great way to get your brain working! 👏

@AuntGlow 

Downstairs has a table and chairs 

And all my pot plants 🪴 around the border of the patio , with some hanging plants 

Ah, gorgeous! @Shaz51 

Your plants look a lot healthier than mine! What's your secret? 👀

@AuntGlow 

Is it the sun on your face, a hug with your dog, a walk in nature, a big stretch, singing your favourite song, a chat with a friend, or finally completing that one small task you have been putting off? 

all of it! 

Support worker is here early Grateful

@Shaz51 @Bunniekins @ENKELI @DownMoreThanUp and all ... 

Not quite Sunday... but what felt good for me was finally moving my new shelving out of the lounge and into my bedroom to create a clear bedside area for the first time since my accident 😊 been putting it off since Friday 😅 @AuntGlow 

How exciting @AuntGlow!! I love this one!! So good! 🤩🫶

Sorry I’m a bit late, at the moment I have been loving my hugs with Indi and also loving my new runners I brought a couple of months ago (a new style for me), they are super comfy when on our walks ☀️💛

Thinking about my intentions, it might be check ins with my body for 30s-1min to start and build on that. Maybe I start this intention this coming Sunday 😊