Constantly miserable

Hey @MessyMind I am so sorry to hear that you're stuck in this situation - especially after you had tried to get yourself out, only to encounter more abuse and trauma and then having to return. I am hearing how much it is impacting you on both the psychological and the physical level. I am glad you are reaching out and seeking some extra support.

I'm glad to hear that you're on a waitlist for community housing, but I imagine it doesn't make it any easier to be in this waiting limbo whilst you're doing everything you can to keep your head above water.

Have you been in touch with 1800RESPECT? I would definitely encourage you to do so, for both in-the-moment support, and to explore any options that might exist in your local area for stuff like emergency housing and extra supports. And if ever you're worried for your safety, please don't hesitate to call 000. 

You are definitely allowed to, and absolutely deserve to get help and to not feel alone in this situation. The community is here for you 💜

Hi, 

I really appreciate your response to my post. 💜

I have called 1800 respect along with other support lines as well. 

I'm supposed to be seeing a counsellor, however i had to cancel due to severe period pain and related issues. 

I think I'm going to try and go out when i can to call the reception for my counsellor and be honest about the controlling behaviour that's going on where I'm living - so they are aware of why i haven't rescheduled yet.

The only issue with emergency accommodation (that I'm aware) is that it's so brief. This person that I'm currently living with has already made me move out many times. I feel like if I were to leave again and not have long term accommodation, that said person wouldn't let me back here once times up wherever i end up.

I have considered 'living' in a hotel but it's not financially suitable at all.

I have been thinking of contacting community housing providers now that i am in Cat 1 to see if they offer any housing in the meantime through programs or something. That's all i can really think of.

Hi @MessyMind, I’m sorry you’re going through this, it really sounds like you’re stuck in such an exhausting and painful situation, constantly having to think about safety, housing, finances, and just trying to get through each day. That’s so much for one person to carry.

I’m glad you’re thinking about telling your counsellor. I know it’s not always easy to talk through certain experiences, but you deserve to be heard and supported.

I can also understand why the idea of emergency accommodation feels complicated and stressful when there’s so much uncertainty around what happens next and where you’d go longer term.

I think reaching out to community housing providers sounds like a really good idea. Even just exploring what options or interim supports might exist could hopefully give you a bit more information and support around you.

You’ve been fighting really hard in circumstances that sound incredibly difficult. I’m glad you shared here 🌻

Hi @Nala2022 

Thank you, i truly appreciate your words. It honestly helps me feel validated - as of course the person causing me emotional and psychological harm tells me unhelpful things that make me out to be crazy or something for what I'm going through..

I haven't gotten round to it as yet but yeah, I'm thinking remaining active in my communication with housing trust & other providers might be beneficial - even for them to just know how bad things still are while waiting on cat 1. At least it's better than being on cat 3 where i was originally.

Hi @MessyMind., I'm sorry for the late reply.

I’m really glad it helped you feel validated. What you’re going through sounds incredibly hard and being made to feel “crazy” or dismissed on top of that can be so damaging. Your reactions sound like responses to a very difficult environment, not a reflection of something being wrong with you.

I think staying in contact with Housing Trust and other providers sounds like a really positive step.

And you’re right, moving from Cat 3 to Cat 1 is a meaningful change, even if the waiting still feels exhausting.

You’re continuing to push forward in a really tough situation, and that matters 

Hi @Nala2022 no worries at all.

Yeah, i keep trying to not be so hard on myself and remind myself why I'm feeling the way that i am/why my body reacts the way it does.

Absolutely, i did feel temporary relief when i got the news that i had been moved up to Cat 1. I am grateful but like others struggling in bad situations, it's not a quick solution to be housed, unfortunately.

Apparently some of the community housing providers offer certain housing programs. It would depend on eligibility, etc but I'll make some enquiries. I did send a couple of emails out over this weekend, so at least it'll be a start going into a new week.

Thank you, that means a lot. Especially as i had an ultra tough day emotionally today.

It sounds like you’re showing yourself a lot of insight and care, even in the middle of such a hard time. Reminding yourself why you’re feeling this way and why your body reacts as it does can be such an important act of self-compassion.

I can also understand the mixed feelings around Cat 1, relief that things have moved forward, while also knowing it may still take time. That waiting can be incredibly tough when you’re already carrying so much.

I think it’s a real strength that you’ve already sent out a couple of emails and are making enquiries. These steps are still wins, especially on hard days.

I’m really sorry to hear you’d been having such an emotionally tough day. How are you feeling now? @MessyMind